The Amazingly Strong Story Of FengHuang.

by bunkertattoo

Once upon a time in prejurassic Russia, there was a Chinese carpenter named Fengske. He sucked at carpentry because he went to prejurassic artschool and they told him that building things with wood was soooo last year and he needed to reinvent stuff.

He decided to skip the next class and go eat mushrooms with his buddy Thor. Thor accidentially ate a wrong one and got in an anger tantrum, hitting everything with his hammer. A little dungbeetle called Hermke was pushing a flintstone to his hole, for reasons unknown. Thor was so pissed at the dungbeetle for not pushing dung, that he struck the flintstone. This caused the flint to spark and it burned the artschool down.

Fengske was so amazed by the blazing fire that he decided to no longer build tables and chairs and other things carpenters build, but to burn them down instead. He was reinventing himself, and he soon became the best carpenter in the whole entire universeness.

After a while he thought he had to reinvent himself again, because burning down carpented stuff was soooo prejurassic.  He thought of all the things he could burn, but nothing was good enough to become an instant designclassic. Nothing, until he thought of his neighbouring peacock called Huang.

He sneaked in to his house, doused Huang in gasoline and struck the flint. The amazing fire that followed was so hot, it fused Feng and Huang together. That’s how the FengHuang was born.

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